It’s a numbers game
My friend, Steve, is a serial dater. The kind that treats dating like an illegal craps game in a back alley. You must bring your “A” game and be willing to walk away if things get hinky. Steve treats fear like his bitch and can walk up to any a group of ladies and start talking. No puffing up his chest, no Travis Bickle internalized trash talk. Quite frankly, he already knows what they’re looking at. Steve, with authority and conviction, bust right in on that business and gets down to business.
Is Steve an automaton, devoid of a soul? Is his male ego immune to the pin pricks and sweaty palms that come with chatting up a pretty girl? I like to think he is soulless but really he is one of the most confident people I know. Swagger is his middle name. Stranger Danger is his last name. How does he keep going back into the lion’s den of hot mess dating and come out without a scratch, well, only the scratches he agrees to?
According to Steve, it’s a numbers game. “Here’s how it works. Out of 20 girls I try to chat up, 10 will not pick up what I’m throwing down. Of the remaining 10, five may turn out to be crazy. This leaves five left standing. Out of that pool, I may get three numbers from women willing to give me chance. In the end, I may only connect with one or two that I actually want to ask out on a date. Simple. Those are your numbers.”
Is Steve implying that leveraging quantity in order to get quality is the key? Yes. That is exactly what he is implying. He also has another self-described advantage. “Most guys just stand around checking out the other guys and what they’re doing. Seeing what competition they have. I fill the void. I actually go up and make the first move.”
I get it. You have to move past rejection, leverage it, and embrace it. I’ve been taking weekend lessons with Steve and his band of Reservoir Dogs. It’s enlightening. I feel dirty and refreshed all at the same time. It’s nice.
If you don’t take chances in love, you can never really win. The “numbers game” may have some truth to it. And I think I like my odds. What about you? Let me know in the Comments section!
About XXRayVision: Never one to believe that sleep is completely necessary; Pamela keeps a hectic social schedule, so she sees a lot of relationship dilemmas. A native of New Orleans, Pamela infuses a mix of Southern sass and Yankee tough love in all of her columns. Pamela uses her MBA from Maryville University for good not for evil…mostly for good. You can follow her on Twitter @RayExperience.